An Ode to My Female Friendships

In the possibility of girlhood, the impossibility of womanhood,
in heartache and grief, in splendor and unapologetic laughter,
in the moments that dazzle in glitter and golden light,
and the ones that glare from broken glass and tear-stained faces, there she is.

She - the friend who came into my life unexpectedly, who has been around from the beginning, who will be here with me until the end.

It feels like I only just met her — like we are complimenting each other’s shoes, chatting over coffee for the first time, swapping stories that will soon become inexplicably intertwined. But what I really mean is that it feels like I have known her all her life.

I have seen her in the in-betweens and strange transition periods:
in bathroom mirrors doing our makeup,
in the moment before the photo,
in a graduation gown with my car packed to move across states,
in my rearview mirror at the drop-off line at the airport,
in the crowd after the concert — my fingers linked with hers all the way to the car.

I have seen her in what I know we will refer to as the good old days:
in tiny apartments watching movies with a duvet on the couch,
in empty wine glasses and polaroid pictures,
in our best dresses dancing and hugging in a circle,
in New York drunk off of the busy city and the Empire State Building,
in knowing we will never be in our twenties just like this ever again.

She has rooted for me from states away, and I feel her love through every single mile it takes to reach me. And when I miss her more than I can explain, I am comforted in knowing that I will see her soon, and it will feel like no time has passed at all.

She has been my copilot, my partner in shenanigans, my confidant. She has reminded me time and time again what it means to love and what it is like to come home to yourself.

You see, my female friendships have a way of returning me to precious girlhood no matter how much this world tries to harden us and dim our light.

My female friendships have taught me that there is no shame in loving the things you love. That leaning in when you are lonely will never feel easy, but always be worth it. That it’s necessary to not be so serious all the time. That if you let them, there is very little your female friends will choose to keep from you.

That if you’re lucky, you’ll know a love like this forever.

xo, Kristina